


Immortals (James Bond 25)

by JustAnotherUnderstudy



Series: This Should Totally Be A Thing [20]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alternate Canon, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, BAMF James Bond, BAMF Olivia Mansfield, Bi-sexual James Bond, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Death, Death, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, James Bond 25, James Bond Being James Bond, James Bond Has Issues, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, MI6 Agents, Minor Character Death, Movie: Casino Royale (2006), Movie: Quantum of Solace (2008), Movie: SPECTRE (2015), Movie: Skyfall (2012), Non-Canon Relationship, Older Woman/Younger Man, Original Character Death(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-SPECTRE, Protective James Bond, Secret Intelligence Service | MI6, Skyfall References, Spies & Secret Agents, Spoilers for SPECTRE, Spoilers for Skyfall, True Love, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherUnderstudy/pseuds/JustAnotherUnderstudy
Summary: So, I wanted to get the jump on this James Bond 25 thing because this is what I want for the story. I know it won't be, but that's why fanfiction exists.





	1. You Only Live Twice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tayryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tayryn/gifts), [saye0036](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saye0036/gifts), [AbbyGibbs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyGibbs/gifts), [detectivecaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/detectivecaz/gifts), [bufan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bufan/gifts), [Lilibet2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilibet2/gifts), [jisforjudi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisforjudi/gifts), [LoveM1000](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveM1000/gifts).



> I begin to post this story with trepidation. I started this months ago, pretty much as soon as they announced Bond 25, and I've only got the two chapters done due to school. Next term will be more difficult than this, and I will start a new job on the 3rd of January. Buuuuut, I wanted to at least this going and hope that it will serve as impetus to finish it.
> 
> Also, my apologies to anyone I left off the dedication list.

The ocean is a beautiful thing. Open, endless, full of life, yet to anyone who knows its depths, also a most dangerous thing. 

Nature created people curious and for eons they lived along the coast and wondered what lay beyond, until time went by and men and women who were innovative and brave as well as curious created ways to push off from the shore and take off in search of other shorelines. 

It was for one such invention, much faster and sturdier than those first rudimentary rafts and canoes that the small woman slipped through the shrubbery at the outskirts of the mansion grounds to find. Maybe struggled was more appropriate a word. Slipped would mean she was having an easy go of it, and though she’d been keeping herself as fit as could be considering the circumstances of the past five years, slipping through undergrowth, thorns, dead leaves, and god only knew what creepy-crawlies, was not something a septuagenarian would typically be adept at. 

But freedom, or at least the idea and hope of it, was a great motivator. And she would give nearly anything to be free again. 

When she reached the edge of the brush, she lay still and counted to 100, while she caught her breath. There was no movement of the guards, no alarms. She’d been this far in an escape attempt many times. It was an uneven game of cat and mouse. In seven attempts in five years she’d come up short. It had been eleven months since her last attempt and she hoped they might have thought she’d given up. She certainly tried to act as if she had. She walked around with a melancholy air and given over to sighing a lot whenever one of her captors or the servants came near. 

When she reached 100 she rolled out from under the brush and crouched low behind it. She took several deep breaths and reminded herself that her captors preferred her alive to dead, for their own odd reasons. The first of many, General Jace had told her when she awoke in a hospital bed in Greece. He’d apparently decided to collect strong and powerful women in what she felt was a need to prove to them that they weren’t as strong and powerful as they’d believed. However, despite his delusions of grandeur, so far, she was the only one. 

There was no direct torture, she was fed and had adequate clothing, she was free to wander about the grounds under guard. Which she’d argued wasn’t “free” at all, of course, to no avail. In the mansion she had her own quarters and she was allowed to sleep alone. There was no guard directly outside her door, but she’d discovered there were enough outside the house to make it unnecessary. 

She knew she couldn’t escape by killing her captor. She hadn’t been a 00 so she while she was sure she would be willing and able to kill for her freedom, she didn’t think she had the ability to take out that many men and women. 

Her movements toward the small dock were slow and methodical. Every 100 metres she looked up at the sky to gauge the moon's location and determine how much longer until the dawn. There was a partial cloud covering she hoped would work in her favor once she was at the shore, but she could see enough of the sky to know she had time. And her proximity to her freedom gave her the energy to continue though she’d been awake for 18 hours. 

In the last shadowy area of the grounds before the dock, she waited. She rested, back against a tree trunk, and watched the sky as the clouds slowly floated across. Once the moon was covered, it would be dark enough to make her way quickly and quietly across the wooden dock and to the small yacht.  

Then would begin the most dangerous part of her journey. Once she started the engine, everyone would know and the alarm would be sounded. The only thing in her favor after that was that, during this part of the year, there was only one boat on the island. The other two were off to parts unknown to her, but it had been this way since she had been brought here. 

Finally, the clouds came in, thick enough to make it darker than she’d hoped. She ran as fast as she could. She untethered the boat and jumped silently aboard. Once at the captain’s chair she checked the console and removed the steak knife she’d stolen. She’d taped it to her leg so it was with no small amount of pain she did so. She cut the wires for the ignition and twisted them back together to get a charge and start the engine.  

Sure enough, only three seconds lapsed before the alarms screamed into the night and the lights began to pierce the darkness. She quickly backed the boat out into the bay and then gunned it toward the open sea. 

Once she hit the high water she turned around to look at the island quickly receding behind her. Part of her wanted to shout for joy, the other part, the part that she’d honed over 50 years of service to the crown made her wait. There was time for celebration when she was truly home. 

She’d charted the stars for five years, she knew she was in the southern hemisphere, likely somewhere in Oceania. That would put her not far from Australia and New Zealand which was the direction she pointed the boat. 

After 20 minutes of navigating by the stars she looked behind her one more time and saw nothing. Still, no reason to breathe a sigh of relief yet. Not until she was home, not until she saw him. 

She shook her thoughts away from home. In her mind it was still a pipe dream, the hope of an old, desperate woman. 

Another five minutes passed before she heard it, the telltale thrum-thrum-thrum of a helicopter’s rotors. She had no reason to hope it was friendly, but she didn’t slow down. The command came in a language she didn’t know, it sounded like something from the Javanese islands. A warning shot came, still she pressed on. The helicopter’s pilot made a desperate attempt to force her to stop by trying to lower the machine in her path, but she wouldn’t shirk and won that round of chicken handily.  

It didn’t seem that they were trying to kill her to prevent her escape so she pressed on. She hoped there was enough petrol to carry her there. She knew it was a full tank, but on the open seas that might not mean much if she was unable to reach safety. 

The helicopter followed her at a high distance so she knew it was only time before another boat came to intercept her. And for a moment she thought that if it did, she might just ram it and be done with it. 

But that was not what she had to do. She had to get back. She had to let him know she hadn’t died. After everything and everyone he had lost, after all he’d given up in service to his country, she didn’t want that burden on his shoulders. 

Finally, she saw a slightly larger boat approaching hers. It hailed her, but she kept going. A few minutes later another joined, then one more, until she knew there was no escape unless she did ram one. She cut the engine and the boat slowed. One of the larger boats came along side and four men jumped onto hers. She rolled her eyes at that. Four men with large guns, a bit of overkill to take in one little old grandmother. 

They took both her arms and forced her down onto the deck. She looked across to the other boat and saw the general standing there. He did not look pleased. 

She cocked an eyebrow at him and stared back defiantly. 

“Olivia, I am not pleased.” 

“No soup for me?” 

He gave her a questioning look before he shook it off. Olivia laughed inside. Her references to Western pop culture were always lost on the man. It was a source of mild amusement to her. 

One of the men who had boarded the yacht restarted the engine and the small armada broke up and she was ushered back to the island. She fought the biting disappointment. Five years and that had been her first taste of freedom. She wasn’t sure how many years she had left in her. 

She tamped down on her sadness when the island, now lit up from one end of its coast to the other, came into view. Showing weakness to these people was not something she would allow herself. 

~~~~00M~~~~ 

General Pietro Jace sat at his desk and drummed his fingers on the mahogany. 

“That was too close. If any of those men we had to employ to find her and capture her were to open their mouths…” 

“We paid them generously, I don’t think that will be a problem. One might get greedy for more, but that’s easily dealt with.” 

His assistant, Gregor Parkov, sat across the desk from the general. His pale face was pinched and pointed. 

“We have to stop her. Women like her, I know what this will do to her. Now she will be more determined than ever to find a way to escape. And she will find it.” 

Parkov didn’t argue with the general. They both knew their own limitations and that of their men. While there would be punishments for tonight’s events, they wouldn’t be enough to stop the woman from trying again. 

“I told you about Dr. Darmeer the last time she attempted an escape…” 

The general looked up and nodded. 

“I see now that it is worth the money to try. Call him and bring him in here immediately.” 

Parkov knew he’d been dismissed and stood, giving a slight nod to his boss before he exited the office. 

General Jace stood and walked to the window to watch the rising sun.  

“I have tried to be reasonable, tried to be kind, but, Mrs. Mansfield, you have given me no choice. You have brought what is about to happen upon yourself. 


	2. The Writing's on the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M gets news he never thought he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "How do I live? How do I breathe?  
> When you're not here I'm suffocating."
> 
> Every theme song from a Craig Bond movie is about Olivia. Every. Single. One. I'll write up a treatise some day. :)

Inside his office at MI6 headquarters M stared at the computer screen. He felt almost numb. When he’d heard the story from the low level informant that one of their agents in Java had conveyed in an obscure report that he very nearly missed, he didn’t want to believe it. Not now, not after all this time.  

Still it was the first good lead he’d had in four years. He couldn’t let it pass by.  

He leaned forward and pressed the com. 

“Mr. Tanner, please come to my office.” 

And now for the most difficult part. 

Tanner came in and M directed him to sit in a chair across from him. Raised eyebrows greeted M’s gaze as he initiated privacy protocols. 

“I’m really not sure how to tell you the information I am about to share. Obviously it’s highly sensitive in nature. There will be very few who are privy to this. I will bring in Q and a 00 but it will be only the four of us.” 

He stared hard at his Chief of Staff. 

“The PM does not even know about this.” 

Tanner swallowed but couldn’t hide his surprise. 

M took a deep breath and stood and began to pace. It took him a minute to form a sentence he thought might tell the whole thing at once, at least enough that Tanner would realize what was about to happen. He turned to the man who had become his friend over the past five years. 

“When we buried Olivia Mansfield, there was no body in the coffin.” 

Tanner’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened. 

“I had received word from the medical team that they had revived her en route, and that is why I left the scene at Skyfall so abruptly.” 

Tanner nodded. 

“I didn’t say anything because Bond…” 

He stopped. 

“Was a wreck.” 

Tanner finished his thought for him. 

“Yes, he was. I didn’t want him to get his hopes up only to find out later that she’d not pulled through.” 

M sat back down in his chair. The worst part, the part where he worried Tanner would exhibit anger or bitterness over the situation, was over. M relaxed a little and allowed himself to think through that horrible night again. 

“When I arrived at the hospital, it was utter chaos. M was missing and they couldn’t imagine why. I had them pull up the CCTV and we found two nurses and an orderly had taken her out of the emergency room almost as soon as she was stabilized. They’d put her into an ambulance and taken off. I had an underling in Q department follow the ambulance on the screen but didn’t say what it was about. 

“At each turn, we were always minutes too late to get to her.” 

He sighed and shook his head. 

“The last good intel I had was about a year later out of Greece. It seemed whomever had taken her had her convalescing there. But by the time I arrived with a small team, none of whom knew exactly why we were going there, she was gone.” 

“And now?” 

“Now, I’ve got some info out of Java. A Javanese coast guard supposedly involved in an intercept of a small yacht piloted by an old woman of small stature.” 

“Could be anything.” 

This time M raised his eyebrows at Tanner. 

“Do you think so?” 

Tanner shook his head in response. 

“No, sir. I really hope this is what you hope.” 

M nodded. 

“We’ll get Q on this right away.” 

He picked up the handset on the phone to call him but Tanner interrupted him with the other part M had been dreading. 

“Should I call Bond?” 

M set the phone back in its cradle and leaned back in his chair. 

“She trusted him, sir.” 

M nodded. She trusted him too much, he’d said as much before she’d sent him off after Patrice. 

“It was more than trust.” 

Tanner didn’t look like he knew what M was talking about. 

“She was sentimental about him.” 

“Really? That doesn’t sound like her at all.” 

M stared at Tanner for a moment wondering if he should tell him his other thoughts on the matter. But he’d kept enough of this from him and it might be useful if he knew. 

“It went both ways.” 

Tanner showed visible surprise and that. 

“You saw him at the chapel. The medics had to tear her from his arms. If Kincaid and the MI6 team hadn’t been there, I feared he might have hurt them.” 

Tanner appeared to take that information and consider it before nodding. 

“I suppose she was something like a mother to him.” 

M scoffed. 

“Not likely.” 

“What?” 

“I think it was deeper than that.” 

“They were lovers?” 

Now Tanner was very incredulous. 

“I don’t think it ever went that far, but they were really too close to each other.” 

M could tell that Tanner couldn’t see what he had.  

“When I spoke with Kincaid, he was under the impression that James was sweet on her. And according to a conversation I had with Dr. Swann a year ago, Blofeld had referred to Olivia as Bond’s “beloved M.”” 

Tanner shook his head though not in disbelief. 

“I never saw it but I suppose neither of them would have been open with others about something like that.” 

They were silent for a while as M gave Tanner time to process that information. He hoped Tanner would understand his desire to keep James out of this. The man had enough trouble right now, and he’d been out of the service for two years. M didn’t want to pull him back in for this. 

“We should tell him.” 

M opened his mouth to respond but Tanner cut him off. This, more than anything, caused him to listen to the man. Tanner normally didn’t try to argue with M about his decisions. 

“He could use a little bit of hope right now, don’t you think?” 

M looked away. He wasn’t an insensitive person, but he couldn’t allow his feelings about the situation to sway him. 

“Give him a month, if he can’t get it done, then we’ll bring in another 00.” 

M shook his head at this suggestion.

“He’s no longer a 00.” 

“You can reinstate him for special need.” 

“Then the PM will find out.” 

Tanner only looked at him and waited. 

M finally sighed. 

“Alright, two weeks though, and the PM never finds out.” 

Tanner actually had the audacity to give M a huge grin. 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Now go get him while I bring Q up to speed.” 

Tanner nearly ran from the room. M shook his head. He just hoped for both Tanner’s and Bond’s sakes that this turned out to be the real thing. 

~~~~00M~~~~ 

It was raining. It was always bloody raining. It was fucking England after all. 

James put his car into park and sat watching the rain obscure his view through the windscreen while he tried to calm himself. He wouldn’t visit her if he was in a mood, as Madeleine called it. 

Finally, he had himself under control and pushed open his door. He grabbed his umbrella and opened it as he stepped from the car, then he reached across the seat to grab the small bunch of posies. 

He shut the car door and trudged across the wet grass to her. His anger flared again when he saw what the rain had done to yesterday’s flowers. But he didn’t swear, he couldn’t in front of her. Instead he knelt slightly and set the new flowers on the small stone. He took the old and shoved them into his trench coat pocket. 

“Hello, Olivia. Sorry about the rain. It’s always raining in this place. I should have insisted on a better climate for you.” 

There was no response, of course.  

He stared down at the stone and made sure the flowers didn’t cover her name. He always made sure of that. He wanted people who came by to know her, to see the flowers and realize that someone still loved her, that she hadn't been forgotten. 

James wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there. He usually lost track of time when he came for his visits. Sometimes it was so bad they had to ask him to leave because they were closing the gates.  

A car pulled up behind his. He could see it in the corner of his eye. It was the only thing that could bring him out of his thoughts. He might not be a 00 anymore but that training never went away. He tensed slightly until he saw who it was getting out of the car. Then he tensed more. 

Why would Bill Tanner be coming to see him here? 

He watched as Bill walked toward him, his own small bouquet in hand which he handed to James when he approached. 

“Thanks.” 

James took the flowers and set them on the other side of the small stone. He picked off some wet leaves he noticed stuck to it that had obscured the dates. 

Standing, he regarded Tanner suspiciously. 

“M sent me. He needs you for a one time assignment.” 

“Trying to distract me?” 

Tanner shrugged.  

“Sort of. But I think you will want to know his information even if you refuse the assignment.” 

“I can refuse it?” 

Tanner nodded. 

“But you won’t.” 

Tanner seemed pretty sure of himself and that piqued James’ curiosity. 

“Right now, I suppose?” 

“Sooner the better.” 

James nodded and began the walk back to his car without saying goodbye. She’d understand. 

Tanner watched as James got into his car. Then he looked down at the small stone in the grass. 

_Olivia Bond_  
_August 8, 2017 – April 14, 2018_  
_Mother’s Angel_  
_ & Daddy’s Heaven _

He looked back up as James drove away. 

God, he hoped this wasn’t a mistake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, I'm sorry?


	3. The World Is Not Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mallory faces his most difficult challenge as M, telling James the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I finally figured out a name for the story. I took it from the song by Fall Out Boy and chose it because I think the song describes both Bond and Olivia at this point in their lives.
> 
> This chapter is a two-boxer, btw. I actually toned it down because it was just too depressing.

M steadied his nerves as he awaited Bond’s arrival. Q eyed him nervously. While the young man had been receptive to M’s plans, he shared M’s concern about the former 00’s reaction to the fact he’d been kept in the dark about what had happened to Olivia.

M had dismissed Moneypenny for the day to keep her out of the line of fire should Bond go over the edge. M had never feared Bond, but considering the events of the past year, with the man’s divorce and the death of his daughter, M was as concerned about James’ state of mind as Madeleine. This could be something that could either help him, as Tanner seemed to hope, or finish him.

He hadn’t mentioned to Tanner that he’d been in regular contact with James’ ex-wife, monitoring the ex-agent’s well-being and trying to determine whether he had become a liability. The two had worked together too long and M didn’t trust him to be un-biased when it came to James.

The knock on the door pulled M from his thoughts. He pressed a button under his desk and the office door opened to reveal Bond, flanked by two guards. James didn’t appear to be annoyed by the security measures. He was no longer in the service of MI6 and he couldn’t be let roam the building. Of course, M was under no illusion that, if Bond so desired, he could lose his guard and get into any level of MI6 he wanted.

The guards were dismissed, and M pointed to one of the chairs across from him. Bond took it with a nod to Q.

“Tanner said you wanted me to do some work for you.”

Bond’s demeanor was entirely professional. M saw that a point on the side of stability for Bond. He still wasn’t going to let his guard down. Even without a gun, he knew Bond was lethal.

“Yes, and I’d like to wait until he arrives. He should only be another minute.”

That seemed to satisfy Bond who sat quietly in the chair, staring at him. M was inclined to roll his eyes at what seemed to be an intimidation tactic on Bond’s part, but he stared back before casually turning to Q to ask him if he was ready with his items. Q nodded and M noted the smirk on Bond’s face at M’s attempt at a dismissal of Bond’s intimidation.

Fortunately, there was another rap at the door and Tanner entered. He immediately sat down in the chair next to Bond. He gave M a small smile and a nod. M hoped this went as well as Tanner seemed to expect it to. He turned to James and began.

“Bond, it is only due to Mr. Tanner’s insistence that I have called you in.”

That seemed to break Bond out of his posturing. He raised a brow and looked over at Tanner who was pulling a page out of the file he was holding.

He handed it to James who read it quickly. M watched as he re-read it several times and when James looked up, M felt the temperature in the room drop a few degrees. There was a cold look in James’ eyes. M suspected the only other people who had seen it were those Bond had been sent to kill.

It was several seconds before anyone spoke again. M had the feeling both Tanner and Q sensed James’ mood and remained silent, waiting to see what he’d do now that he’d been made privy to the knowledge that his former boss might still be alive.

“How long have you known?”

The former agent’s voice was almost cruel and there was an increasing hardness in his face that unnerved M.

“I didn’t know if she was alive for certain, just that she was taken from the hospital while I was in transit. I didn’t want you to get your hopes up…”

James huffed out a quiet laugh.

“No, certainly wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings, would you? Never mind the fact that I might have been able to find her.”

M waited a moment before answering, weighing his words carefully.

“I spoke with the doctor after we came up short in our attempts to find her or the people who took her. He didn’t believe she could have made it. She was too weak and she most likely couldn’t have lived much longer without extreme medical intervention.”

“Well, it looks like she got it, doesn’t it?”

To M’s surprise, James calmed down completely at that point. One moment, M was certain he would have to take drastic measures, the next James was acting reasonable. Yet, it was more terrifying and didn’t put M at ease in the least.

“So, you want me to find her for you?”

M stopped short of suggesting that, no, he wanted Bond to find Olivia for himself. His conversations over the past year and a half with Madeleine had made him realize his suspicions when he’d first seen Olivia and Bond together were founded in reality, at least on Bond’s part.

“Tanner has all the information.”

M nodded at Tanner who handed Bond the folder he was holding. Bond opened it and perused it with a lackadaisical look that belied the underlying tension in the room.

“You will have only two weeks, I’m afraid. That’s all I can allow before letting the PM know I have contracted you for a job.”

James took the news surprisingly well. He merely looked up at M and nodded. It reminded M of the day James had come back to MI6 after Olivia had died. He’d been deceptively calm, and M had thought he’d have an easy transition with the man. But Bond was loyal only to Olivia, as they all had learned just a few months later.

“Well, let’s get to business then,” M said. He wanted to get Bond moving as quickly as possible. He had no doubt if anyone could find Olivia in two weeks with such few leads it was Bond. A tug of guilt began to pull on his conscience when he realized that, even in the poor condition Bond had been in after Skyfall, he still probably could have found her.

* * *

Madeleine let herself into the flat. James had never changed the locks or the security or even asked for the key back. She’d hoped it was because he wanted her to be able to check up on him. But over the past few months she had worried each time she arrived, exactly what she’d find.

While she had no idea what she’d find, she always knew where to find him, especially with the flat in total darkness this early in the evening. She made her way with practiced ease across the living room and down the hall to the nursery. Slipping her shoes off just outside the doorway she crossed the threshold and walked toward the window seat where James sat, staring blankly across Hyde Park through the encroaching haze of twilight.

“Did Mallory send you?”

James’ voice startled her, but not nearly as much as his question.

“How did you know?”

“I put it together a few months ago. The two of you have been quite chummy since the funeral.”

Madeleine sighed and sat at the opposite end of the bench.

“There’s nothing going on between us.”

James snorted derisively at her answer.

“Except you’re reporting my behavior to him.”

“He’s worried about you.”

James shook his head.

“He just wants to know if I’m a loose cannon, if he ought to take me out.”

“No. He just wants to know if you are OK.”

James finally turned toward her. Even in the half-light of evening Madeleine could see that his eyes were even more haunted than usual.

“You really don’t understand the business I was in, or else you are being intentionally obtuse.”

He shook his head and turned back to stare out the window.

Madeleine studied him. It was easier to do that than to look around this room he had turned into something of a shrine.

The sadness in his eyes and etched on his face made her heart ache most days, but it was deeper tonight. Mallory was right to be concerned. Something had happened, but Madeleine knew no one would ever tell her. She curled her legs up and pulled her knees to her chest and joined him in his reverie of the evening sky.

James had picked this flat carefully. There were several of the best nursery schools in London in this neighborhood and James had planned to put Olivia’s name on the wait list for the top ones as soon as she was born. He’d researched every product he’d purchased for their daughter and had started a child’s library before she was even born. The thought of the books brought forth the bittersweet memory of James reading to her belly throughout most of the pregnancy.

She’d been shocked at the change she’d seen in him when she’d told him she was pregnant. She hadn’t expected him to want the child. They’d fallen apart again, but she felt she’d owed him the knowledge that she was carrying his child before she had the abortion she planned. But something about it had transformed James from a brooding, pained man into one with something to live for. Madeleine couldn’t deny that she too had great hopes for their child after that.

They’d moved into the flat when Madeleine was four months pregnant. James had told her she should continue to work, and he would gladly stay home and take care of the baby. Madeleine had thought he’d bore of the entire experience after a few months, especially as the pregnancy progressed and she was in less of a mood to make love to him after a day at work. But he was attentive and caring. Dinner was always ready, and he was up in the morning making her breakfast and packing her a healthy lunch. While she was at work, he was preparing the nursery. He painted it and put together the furniture.

In the seventh month of pregnancy, she had come home one night to find a romantic dinner set out. She had assumed he was going to try to seduce her to convince her to have sex with him, instead he served her dinner and then brought out a desert of fruit drizzled with yoghurt and chocolate. It was romantic, and Madeleine had almost convinced herself that, in spite of the pain it sometimes caused her, that she’d go ahead and allow for sex that night, when James pulled something out of his pocket and slid off the chair to get down on one knee before her.

The wedding was small. They’d hired a justice of the peace who came to the flat. There were only a few friends present, including James’ friend Kincade who had come from Scotland. It had been a perfect day. And for two months, Madeleine thought that James would finally know peace and real happiness.

She closed her eyes to the memories. She didn’t want to think about that. She couldn’t think about it. There was too much pain and sorrow.

“Did he tell you I’m going on an assignment?”

James’ voice was soft with none of his earlier bitterness.

Madeleine shook her head, surprised that M would do that. She’d told him that James was in no condition to work. Apparently, James was right, she really didn’t understand this business.

“I won’t be coming back.”

“What?”

“I can’t,” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “I can’t come back here. So, even if I’m successful, I won’t be coming back.”

“Is this some sort of suicide mission?” Madeleine asked, already forming an angry call to Gareth in her mind.

James shook his head and continued.

“I want you to go ahead and sell or donate everything. The flat you can sell.”

Madeleine looked around the room.

“You can’t mean that, James.”

“Madeleine, I can’t live like this. And I won’t be able to take these things with me.”

She nodded, he couldn’t live like this, but it was so sudden. She wondered again what had happened between James and Mallory today.

“There must be something you want to keep.”

He shook his head.

“Then there must be something you want me to keep. Something of Olivia’s that you would like me to keep.”

James looked at her in surprise and Madeleine forced herself to ignore the way his look made her heart ache. He truly never believed she loved their daughter.

“She was my daughter too, James. I know we didn’t agree on the medical treatments, but I did love her. More than anything. And I miss her…”

She couldn’t finish her words, it still hurt too much.

James gave her a sad smile then reached over and took her hand in his. He kissed her fingers, then the inside of her wrist. He whispered her name and tugged at her hand to pull her toward him and into an embrace.

They held each other for several moments, then Madeleine felt James press his lips against her neck. Slowly and gently he kissed her along her jawline before he pressed his lips to hers. It wasn’t his usual passion, it wasn’t even the almost reverential way he’d treated her after she’d announced her pregnancy. This was deeper, it was love and gratitude and sorrow and pain, all the things they’d shared in so brief a time.

He lifted her and carried her into the bedroom. He made love to her the way he’d kissed her. It was the first time Madeleine had felt he was even present during lovemaking, instead of thinking his mind was elsewhere, with someone else, the ghost of Vesper or the woman who had once held the title ‘M.’ She knew as she drifted to sleep afterward, that James would be gone when she woke.

James didn’t disappoint. There was no sound in the flat as Madeleine opened her eyes. But on the pillow where James had slept was a pink, hand-crocheted blanket wrapped around an old-fashioned teddy bear. These had been Olivia’s favorites. Madeleine took them and held them to her as she began to cry.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, it gets worse.

**Author's Note:**

> What I really need is a great opening song because that's what all good James Bond movies have. :)
> 
> Update: Opening song is Immortals by Fall Out Bot


End file.
